jtdatta: 2011

Where to look for Happiness:

To obtain happiness, some change their jobs, some change their education, some change their place of living, some change their religion, some change their life partners, ……. There are many instances when changing certain elements, one becomes happier. At the same time, there are many changes which did not bring the desired happiness to the individual.

Here I remember a statement – Do not search for happiness any where. It is in side you. There are many cases when this statement is even more than correct. In my opinion, if you can develop a habit of seeing “half cup full”, you will develop satisfaction and happiness.

You should make best efforts to find out who and what you are. Once you find that out, it will help you to dig out the happiness in side of you. Another statement is worth remembering – Your happiness should not be because of any one or any thing. The main reason for the correctness of this statement is that you can not predict what others will do or say and if your happiness is based on them, you may become unhappy many times.

It will be beneficial for you to seriously think about helping others

We spend most of our time and energies in trying to bring benefits to ourselves. Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we do not. Whenever we do not succeed, we get upset and think other ways to succeed. Many times when we succeed, it brings another addition of GHAMUND in us, which modifies our personality in negative direction.

Here I want to discuss about helping others. Whenever you are thinking for the benefit of someone else, it makes you feel good. Additionally if you remember that it is just a matter of chance that you are capable of thinking of someone else, it will keep you humble. The fact is that the situation could have been reversed also. Here please try to remember another fact – the fact that you or anyone else were born in a particular household, had nothing to do with efforts you made in this life. When you are thinking about others, your thinking is “plus”, because it is not selfish. There may be many actions you will be hesitant to do if those actions were for your own selfish interest, where as when you are doing it for others, you will get additional strength in doing the same actions. As an example, it may be uncomfortable to ask any one for financial help, but for helping others, I will not hesitate to ask for help.

Please do not start thinking that if you are doing something good, you are superior to others. Even a slightest feeling of such superiority will pull you down. Please try to remember that you can only try to do something. You may succeed or may not succeed in your efforts. Success or failure is not because of your action only. All the results are based upon many other factors also, which are well beyond your controls.

Here it may be good to mention that while dealing with any one, please carry only positive feelings. In my suggestion, you should either “love” someone or “respect” someone or both. Please do not start developing negative feelings like hatred for any one. Please give benefit of doubt to everyone. Even if someone steals something from you, you can think that may be if you were in that person’s situation, you might have done the same thing.

Try to improve all situations:

Try to leave every place you visit in a better shape than you entered there. Some of the examples:

You are walking on the road and see a stone in a dangerous place for coming vehicles. Pick up the stone and place it where it will not hurt anyone.

You go to bathroom and see some paper on the floor. Pick up the paper and put it with the trash.

You notice someone needs help, help the person (I do not recommend helping professional beggars with money).

Typical Cycle of Life, the way I have learnt it:

I think we all understand that our cycle of life among other details includes – Birth, Childhood, Education, Adult life, Getting Older and finally Death.

I will try to summarize few important aspects of this life as I learnt from various sources:

1. A child must follow directions of parents and elders, as the child has very little knowledge and experience. During this phase it will be good if the child learns things about what life is, and how we should interact with others. Parents, Teachers and Religious sources can make appropriate input.

2. Student should work hard and learn about life in greater details and try to acquire education for adult phase of life.

3. As an adult one should try to give benefits to the community and make use of knowledge to develop some assets which can be used in older phase of life. During this phase one develops family, have children, educate children and try to help the community in whatever ways one can.

4. Next phase of life should be used to mostly help others**. During this phase, one has reservoir of knowledge, some wealth and experience and one should try to give these commodities to deserving and needy younger generation.

5. We should notice that most of the animals can think only about themselves, but humans should be thinking about others also. In my opinion, when we gradually keep getting older, our thinking about others should keep increasing. As an example, at my age, I should be spending majority of time for others.

6. With death, we drop each and every physical commodity from our life, including assets, relatives and friends. Some believe that our ATMA will survive and may carry some of the results of our actions with it and even carry them to our next life.
While growing up, I learnt following things which helped shape my life. May be you can also consider them in developing your life plans:
A) I was told that we all take birth and eventually we all will die.
B) Our span of life is not known to us, but very rarely goes over 100 years.
C) Whatever decisions we make and howsoever hard we work, results are not guaranteed to us. At the same time, mostly our good planning and hard work may produce desirable results.
D) Just like Newton’s laws, our each and every action will develop appropriate result.
E) The entire NATURE is so huge that sometimes the results of our actions may be delivered to us much later in time. Some believe that these results can even come to us in next life.

Helping Others:

In one of the scriptures I learnt followings:

As long as we live, we keep doing lot of things. Although it is necessary to do many things to keep our body and ourselves in good working condition, benefits of all such actions will end with end of our body. At the same time, whatever actions we do for the benefit of others, will not end with end of our body. And will stay with our soul.

I suggest we should try to form some kind of guidelines for our life. I have shown following form just as an example:

Our Age % of time and resources spent for "others"

10 2 to 5
25 5 to 10
50 10 to 15
70 15 to 50
80 50 to 80
After 80 80 to 95

It is necessary to define “others”. Actually, any of your relatives or friends is part of your life and they are not “others”. “Others” mean those individuals whom you came to know for the purpose of helping them. Similarly any help given for even indirect purpose of your profits should not come in the category of helping others.

There are many persons who have devoted lot more time and resources for helping others.

Some suggestions for job interviews:

I have some suggestions for you:

1. Once you get an invitation for a job interview, try to evaluate if you want to go for interview or not. My suggestion is that unless you clearly know that you are NOT interested in the job, you should attend the interview. Due to lack of experience, in the beginning, you may not be able to fully understand the job you are being offered. My suggestion is that if you have any doubts, please go for the interview.

2. Before you go for interview, do your research and find out lot of information about the company as well as the job for which you plan to go for this interview. If possible, find out who will be interviewing you.

3. Prepare yourself for possible questions from the interviewers. While doing so, analyze as to how you can help the company, what your good points are, how flexible you will be, how your interests will help you do better work. At the same time, DO NOT make any wrong or misleading statements, do not pretend what you are not. If you give them misleading impressions, very soon they will back-fire on you.

4. Prepare your questions for the interviewers. Do not think that this interview means that only “they” will ask you questions. The correct interview means that you should also ask “them” your questions. Once they finish asking you their questions, if it is not already clarified in their documents, ask questions like – your salary, health benefits, other fringe benefits, work times, holidays, vacations, any help for further education for you, any travels needed, your responsibilities, whom will you be reporting, who does your evaluation, …

5. If you can, dress appropriately for the interview.

6. At the end of interview, make sure to thank them for the interview.

7. Next day send them a letter to thank them for the interview. DO NOT thank them by e-mail. In this letter, you can once again mention your best points, but DO NOT make it a long letter – KEEP IT LESS THAN A PAGE.