There are many factors like Genes, Environments, mental and body Characteristics, …which make us different.
All these factors make us understand and comprehend the things differently almost all the times. This is natural. Actually, it makes sense to understand that it is not any one’s fault that we are different. More important is that we should not react adversely when some one is very much different from us.
In some cases, it may be more helpful to meet and interact with persons who are different. We might learn some thing entirely new. I think more we meet and interact with more different persons, more things we will learn and more versatile we may become.
Learning and practicing these realities can make us happier because we will learn to accommodate different situations better.
Friday, October 12, 2007
UNHAPPINESS AND WHAT TO DO WITH IT:
First I am going to try to list the reasons why we are unhappy and then will try to discuss ways which may help you to remove/reduce your unhappiness.
Reasons for unhappiness:
Actually only one reason comes to my mind for unhappiness and that is when we want some thing or we wish to get some thing and we can not get it. This can be in many forms:
We lost material things.
We lost some loved one.
We feel insecure.
We are afraid of loosing some thing.
We were expecting or hoping for some thing and it did not happen.
*******************
Ways to remove/reduce unhappiness:
Volumes have been written in this reference. I feel that if you rationally think in the following concepts, and try to formulate them in your lives, you should be able to remove most of the unhappiness:
Understanding that only few months’ back it was in the news that another celestial entity was discovered which is several million light years away from our earth. This should give you a hint that how "small" your existence is in the concept of nature.
You know it is a fact that you all are eventually going to die. The nature has been in existence for a very very long time – some thing like many many million years. At best, your personal life expectancy is about 100 years – if you are very lucky. This should give you a hint that how "brief" your existence is in the concept of nature.
You understand that all of you are not going to be able to acquire the resources available to Bill Gates. You also understand that you are better off than many human beings in this nature, therefore you are not "worse off".
It has been established that although your actions do contribute towards the results, you have no control on the results. Mainly due to the fact that there are always many other factors which contribute towards all the results.
Try your best to live the life the way you get it. Just like when you are playing cards, you have no control of the cards you are going to get. It is only how you use those cards can make some difference.
If you start expecting from life many additional things, that can be one of the largest reasons for your unhappiness.
***************************
It is good to plan and act on our thinking, but to expect that the things will turn out to our liking is the surest way towards our unhappiness.
The above concepts should mean that we all have our treasures and resources and are trying to spend very small amount of time on this earth. With this understanding, if we remove some of the "bad habits" from us, we may be able to remove our unhappiness. Some of the bad habits can be listed as:
Jealousy,
Trying to change others (We all form our ideas and we think that we are correct. We can only change when we want to change ourselves),
Expecting others to act in certain ways,
Thinking that ours is the only correct way
************************
Try to develop good habits like:
Control on our DESIRES.
Try not to be angry – as during anger your mind does not work properly.
Try to reduce or remove greediness.
Try not to be attached with any thing, as every thing is with you only temporarily.
Try to remove AHANKAR from your personality.
Reasons for unhappiness:
Actually only one reason comes to my mind for unhappiness and that is when we want some thing or we wish to get some thing and we can not get it. This can be in many forms:
We lost material things.
We lost some loved one.
We feel insecure.
We are afraid of loosing some thing.
We were expecting or hoping for some thing and it did not happen.
*******************
Ways to remove/reduce unhappiness:
Volumes have been written in this reference. I feel that if you rationally think in the following concepts, and try to formulate them in your lives, you should be able to remove most of the unhappiness:
Understanding that only few months’ back it was in the news that another celestial entity was discovered which is several million light years away from our earth. This should give you a hint that how "small" your existence is in the concept of nature.
You know it is a fact that you all are eventually going to die. The nature has been in existence for a very very long time – some thing like many many million years. At best, your personal life expectancy is about 100 years – if you are very lucky. This should give you a hint that how "brief" your existence is in the concept of nature.
You understand that all of you are not going to be able to acquire the resources available to Bill Gates. You also understand that you are better off than many human beings in this nature, therefore you are not "worse off".
It has been established that although your actions do contribute towards the results, you have no control on the results. Mainly due to the fact that there are always many other factors which contribute towards all the results.
Try your best to live the life the way you get it. Just like when you are playing cards, you have no control of the cards you are going to get. It is only how you use those cards can make some difference.
If you start expecting from life many additional things, that can be one of the largest reasons for your unhappiness.
***************************
It is good to plan and act on our thinking, but to expect that the things will turn out to our liking is the surest way towards our unhappiness.
The above concepts should mean that we all have our treasures and resources and are trying to spend very small amount of time on this earth. With this understanding, if we remove some of the "bad habits" from us, we may be able to remove our unhappiness. Some of the bad habits can be listed as:
Jealousy,
Trying to change others (We all form our ideas and we think that we are correct. We can only change when we want to change ourselves),
Expecting others to act in certain ways,
Thinking that ours is the only correct way
************************
Try to develop good habits like:
Control on our DESIRES.
Try not to be angry – as during anger your mind does not work properly.
Try to reduce or remove greediness.
Try not to be attached with any thing, as every thing is with you only temporarily.
Try to remove AHANKAR from your personality.
WHY DO WE BECOME UPSET AND SAD:
At this time I can think of following reasons as to why do we get upset and sad. If you can suggest me some other reasons, please let me know.
We criticize:
We fail to remember one thing that the person we are criticizing may be thinking that he/she may have done the best.
We start thinking that some one else should have done like this or that.
This usually makes us upset.
If we want to reduce this source of unhappiness, we should earnestly start thinking that every one should be able to use their brains just like we use our brains quite smartly. With this thinking, we may be able to understand others in a way that it will not make us upset.
We act selfish:
When we act selfish, we try to take more than we deserve from nature’s calculations. Once we receive that extra, we are scared that some day we may loose that. This increases our worries and we stay more and more upset.
With selfishness we also develop jealousy. That nature makes us compare with others who may have "more" of some thing. This brings more and more sadness.
We should develop a pattern of thinking by which we should understand that with real factors of life and nature, we are going to get what we deserve and whatever we did not get, we should not worry about.
We criticize:
We fail to remember one thing that the person we are criticizing may be thinking that he/she may have done the best.
We start thinking that some one else should have done like this or that.
This usually makes us upset.
If we want to reduce this source of unhappiness, we should earnestly start thinking that every one should be able to use their brains just like we use our brains quite smartly. With this thinking, we may be able to understand others in a way that it will not make us upset.
We act selfish:
When we act selfish, we try to take more than we deserve from nature’s calculations. Once we receive that extra, we are scared that some day we may loose that. This increases our worries and we stay more and more upset.
With selfishness we also develop jealousy. That nature makes us compare with others who may have "more" of some thing. This brings more and more sadness.
We should develop a pattern of thinking by which we should understand that with real factors of life and nature, we are going to get what we deserve and whatever we did not get, we should not worry about.
HOW TO BE HAPPY:
I believe that it is possible for almost all individuals to live happier lives most of the times. At present following suggestions come to my mind:
Do not try to pretend to be some one, who you are not. In a simple way what I mean is that you should say exactly what you decide to say, do exactly what you decide to do. If you will try to "manipulate" your ideas and actions to reach at some results, you will be compromising with your happiness. Obviously in making your decisions as to what to say or what to do, try not to be selfish and also try your best that your words or actions do dot unduly hurt any one. My suggestion is that at any time if you can not think a proper way to make a "proper" statement, please do not make the statements at that time. Find an opportunity when you are fully composed with your mind, think of a proper statement and then at some proper time, make the statement.
In this reference it is important to form a method as to how should we decide what actions to take. Typically we use two major body senses in trying to decide this question – some persons say using your heart or using your brain. To make this point I will use a simple example. I feel like signing up for owning a luxury house that I can not afford. My rational calculations tell me that I "should" not sign up for it, where as my desire is very strong to sign up for it. In my opinion, if you want to be happier in the longer term, at times, you can let loose your "feelings" but final decision should be arrived at after you have full approval from your rational mind.
I have no knowledge as to how any ones "feelings" work, but my education of life has taught me how to use my rational thinking. I clearly feel that our rational thinking is based on the knowledge we have at that time. My suggestion to you is that whenever your knowledge increases, you should not be "coward" in saying "At that time I made a mistake and now I want to correct my previous decision". Some how I do not respect a person who says, "Once I made the statement, I want to stick to it". I do not respect a person who always keeps changing his mind also. In the brief, my point is that you should take your time and use your all the body senses while making your decisions. But some how if you realize that your decision was made with incomplete knowledge, you should change it. Here it is also important that you should not be selfish for yourself only and you should also take into account the effect your change of decision will make on others. You should take all these factors while making your decisions; your basis must be that you are looking for long term happiness and not a short-term relief.
Another thing I like to suggest is that keep in mind that whenever any thing is worth doing it is worth doing properly and 100%. This habit will give you confidence and happiness.
Make sure that whenever you are disturbed, find a place where you can concentrate on yourself and analyze the situation inside the path you have chosen for your life.
Do not try to pretend to be some one, who you are not. In a simple way what I mean is that you should say exactly what you decide to say, do exactly what you decide to do. If you will try to "manipulate" your ideas and actions to reach at some results, you will be compromising with your happiness. Obviously in making your decisions as to what to say or what to do, try not to be selfish and also try your best that your words or actions do dot unduly hurt any one. My suggestion is that at any time if you can not think a proper way to make a "proper" statement, please do not make the statements at that time. Find an opportunity when you are fully composed with your mind, think of a proper statement and then at some proper time, make the statement.
In this reference it is important to form a method as to how should we decide what actions to take. Typically we use two major body senses in trying to decide this question – some persons say using your heart or using your brain. To make this point I will use a simple example. I feel like signing up for owning a luxury house that I can not afford. My rational calculations tell me that I "should" not sign up for it, where as my desire is very strong to sign up for it. In my opinion, if you want to be happier in the longer term, at times, you can let loose your "feelings" but final decision should be arrived at after you have full approval from your rational mind.
I have no knowledge as to how any ones "feelings" work, but my education of life has taught me how to use my rational thinking. I clearly feel that our rational thinking is based on the knowledge we have at that time. My suggestion to you is that whenever your knowledge increases, you should not be "coward" in saying "At that time I made a mistake and now I want to correct my previous decision". Some how I do not respect a person who says, "Once I made the statement, I want to stick to it". I do not respect a person who always keeps changing his mind also. In the brief, my point is that you should take your time and use your all the body senses while making your decisions. But some how if you realize that your decision was made with incomplete knowledge, you should change it. Here it is also important that you should not be selfish for yourself only and you should also take into account the effect your change of decision will make on others. You should take all these factors while making your decisions; your basis must be that you are looking for long term happiness and not a short-term relief.
Another thing I like to suggest is that keep in mind that whenever any thing is worth doing it is worth doing properly and 100%. This habit will give you confidence and happiness.
Make sure that whenever you are disturbed, find a place where you can concentrate on yourself and analyze the situation inside the path you have chosen for your life.
HOW TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO:
We need to make decisions all the times. Some times making a decision may be quite simple and some times it may become very hard. Many times the decision has to be made in certain time. Some decisions may have many repercussions, which need to be considered, and many times you may have to make estimates and assumptions. Some times, based upon all the factors of making decision, it can become quite difficult.
I have following suggestions:
When you need to make a decision, you must use your mind, your experiences in life, and your knowledge gained from all sources. If you need more knowledge, acquire the knowledge by reading, listening, and most important – consult some one who you think may be able to give you good advice on that subject. Almost all the times, the decision has to be made. Please remember that many times it is impossible to make a perfect decision because no one can calculate how it is going to workout. My suggestion is that after due considerations, do not be afraid of making decisions. Do not make decisions when you are angry or your all the mental faculties are not in good shape. Do not keep trying to make perfect decisions. Except for GOD, no one can make perfect decisions because as humans, we do not know how things are going to be the very next moment of time.
Obviously you can not find what will be the consequences of your decision, but with best of your judgement, try to prepare for the possible eventualities.
Here I want to discuss about acquiring knowledge. We all are different. Some persons can learn by reading, some by listening, some by watching videos and some by discussing the subject with a knowledgeable person etc. It is also possible that same person will be good learner for different subjects through different modes of learning. My suggestion is that you should consider all these ideas and make your best judgement as to what is best for a particular situation depending upon what ever is available. My only request is that after you have gained the knowledge, and you are convinced that it is good knowledge, please put it to work in your day to day living.
I have following suggestions:
When you need to make a decision, you must use your mind, your experiences in life, and your knowledge gained from all sources. If you need more knowledge, acquire the knowledge by reading, listening, and most important – consult some one who you think may be able to give you good advice on that subject. Almost all the times, the decision has to be made. Please remember that many times it is impossible to make a perfect decision because no one can calculate how it is going to workout. My suggestion is that after due considerations, do not be afraid of making decisions. Do not make decisions when you are angry or your all the mental faculties are not in good shape. Do not keep trying to make perfect decisions. Except for GOD, no one can make perfect decisions because as humans, we do not know how things are going to be the very next moment of time.
Obviously you can not find what will be the consequences of your decision, but with best of your judgement, try to prepare for the possible eventualities.
Here I want to discuss about acquiring knowledge. We all are different. Some persons can learn by reading, some by listening, some by watching videos and some by discussing the subject with a knowledgeable person etc. It is also possible that same person will be good learner for different subjects through different modes of learning. My suggestion is that you should consider all these ideas and make your best judgement as to what is best for a particular situation depending upon what ever is available. My only request is that after you have gained the knowledge, and you are convinced that it is good knowledge, please put it to work in your day to day living.
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