As we keep gaining experiences in our lives, we keep making friends and keep interacting with our friends and relatives. We all know that if we interact with any one with positive elements, our relationships will become better and go longer. Here I want to concentrate on how we can select good friends. Before I go forward, I want to discuss some thing important. Once I read that there are three types of friends – for a reason, for a season, and for life time. Friends for reason and season are for the sake of profits or conveniences. Because in general we keep looking after our interests and selfish motives, we can easily create methods to select and handle the friends of first two categories. My suggestions are only for friends for life – you can certainly extrapolate them for finding your life partners also.
EVALUATE YOUR SELF:
Some persons may think that evaluating yourself may be useless, because every one knows themselves. I have come across lot of intelligent and educated persons who have never spent time to evaluate themselves. That is the reason; I want to give this subject some importance.
Because I come from engineering background, I have to understand any thing I want to think and do, and I believe that I must write down my ideas. It allows me to review my ideas when I need them and may not be in the same state of mind. This is the reason I suggest that you also start writing your ideas and should always know how to find them at the time of need. One way is to write them on computer files and store them on a pen drive if you do not have your personal computer. One thing important to remember is that information on computer Medias is good, but at certain intervals you must keep an extra copy at a different place for the eventuality of loss of the media. Another method is to send e-mail to yourself attaching the files containing your ideas.
These are my suggestions:
Evaluate yourself as to who are you and what are you. Who you are is quite complicated and involves many religious and philosophical concepts, so I am not qualified to discuss it. I will try to help you in evaluating what you are.
First part of what you are is your resume or bio-data. Some people call it a “laundry list”. This describes information about you which is recorded some where and with appropriate help any one can verify it and it does not involve your thinking process. The second part is a list of your qualities, your preferences, likes and dislikes. I think everyone should be as clear as possible about their own particular list. Prepare this list as detailed as possible. Whenever you get additional ideas, keep modifying this list, but at any one time, you should have only one list. It may also be beneficial if you can start giving appropriate weights to some items in your list. If I want to make a list of 10 places to visit, I need to write them in a sequence of importance – so that if I do not have enough time or resources, I know which ones I need to visit first.
This list should include what are the things you like/dislike, what type of actions you like to do, what do you expect from a friend and similarly all other items that come in your mind.
Whenever you think of adding another individual as your friend, gradually, keep informing him/her ideas from this list. Chances are when you give your friend these ideas; your friend will also start giving you his/her similar ideas. If you decide that a particular friend will be your closer friend, make sure that you have conveyed him/her all the points from your list.
TRY TO EVALUATE YOUR FRIENDS:
Whenever you want some one to be your friend, you evaluate this person. Basically you try to find if there are more things which will make you happier in discussing or working with this person. I think the items which make you compatible with this person are good and necessary. At the same time, it is equally important to concentrate on the things which make the person “not compatible” for you. Spend lot of time to find “non compatible” qualities and evaluate if such items will be within your tolerance limits. If such items are likely to become beyond your limits, do not spend lot of time with this person.
About Me
- jtdatta
- I was born on July 16, 1940 in Bhera (presently in Pakistan). My father’s name Shri Arjun Das Datta and mother’s name Smt. Vidya Datta. In 1947 our family came to India. I completed my Intermediate exam in 1957 and joined I.I.T. Kharagpur. In 1961 I graduated in B.Tech. (Civil Engg.) and in 1962 graduated in M.Tech (Soil Mechanics). I served in Border Roads from 1962 to 1965. From 1965 till March 1967 I served in various places including teaching in C.M.E., Poona. In 1967 I migrated to England. I got married in end of 1967 and worked in Scotland till August 1969. Then I migrated to USA. In USA, I worked with several consulting companies till May 1983. This is the time when I started my own consulting company – Datta Consulting, Inc. I transferred my shares of the company on December 31, 2005 to my employees. Since 2006, I started travelling and trying to find some useful activity for me. Now my major occupation is to do some travelling and help deserving and needy persons - particularly students.